Luahan

Bismillah….

Assalamu’alakum wrth,

Ramadhan is here again. The noblemonth where our deeds multiplied manifold. Where our du’as is the most mustajab. Oppurtunity that comes once a year. It shouldn’t be spend on wasteful necessities like uneaten extra food.

My exam also happens to be on the month of Ramadan. Commencing from 31 Aug which will last for the next 2 weeks. Not just that, I’ve to rush KBK 6 on their subjects and oral for my 3 other classes. Also, need to chase them over their e-Learning. A lot of other things are still in my head. Headaches. It’s a burden on me because the more class I took, the more responsibility and task I’ve to cover. I really don’t want to focus more on my work doing things above. All I want is focus more on my coming up exams.

The most difficult subject for this semester is Ulum Syariah and Lughah. Ulum syariah, a lot of dalil and memorization. It’s tougher when most of the word has no shakal.

Lughah. Oh Allah! You know the situation is. Is not that I want to whine and moan about it. It’s just that, the responsibility of a teacher is to be in his best to teach us not to make us difficult. If he knows he couldn’t do it and he even confess in the 1st place that he’s weak in it, he shouldn’t took up Lughah. Haiz… This is what we call teaching for the sake of money. Well, not all asatizas are a good example. We’re humans are bound to make ridiculous mistakes, following too much on their nafs.

This is life. We moan, whine, grumble over difficulties made by humans itself. But, life shouldn’t be bleak all the time. It’s unfair to look life at just one side of the coin without looking on the other side. There’s life that we can enjoy, that’s permissible in Islam. It’s a small taste of enjoyment and pain for what it’s install for us in hereafter.

What I want in life at this time, is to be able to pass all my subjects, targeting all A’s. There’s nothing wrong getting A’s but it has to come with actions too. If u know, u do it. Knowledge is to be put use not for fame, debate with other, status.

Another thing is, to memorize Allah’s words, the noble Al-Quran. It always had been my dream and aims in my life. You know, I always envy and admire those who memorize the whole chapters. It’s the most difficult task among all other subjects. U can easily forget if don’t discipline yourself. Not many can do it. This would be the utmost challenging and tough task for me.

To a special man I admire, I hope you’ll find a stable job. Work hard to find one. You’re a great person even though not flawless because humans have weakness. But it’s just sad, if only you can afford to have a family and you’ll be a good father to the kids. It’s only one thing that’s hindering you. Time will tell… Maybe both of us are or especially me are not well-prepared to be a good wife and mum.

Kadang-kadang hati tak tenang, sebab memang kita nih bukannya pasangan. Kalau ada satu ikatan, ia menunjukkan komitment antara satu sama lain. Ana takut ia tak menjadi, dan satu hari nanti menyesal amat terbesar. Tapi ana pun seorang wanita seperti yg lain, yg inginkan kasih saying dan perhatian dari seorang suami. Memang benar kasih saying yg utama ialah Allah…tetapi mengapakah Allah ciptakan lelaki dan perempuan dan hidup berpasang? Allah pun dah berfirman… Antara tanda2nya dia meciptakan pasangan supaya kamu dapat hidup dengan kasih saying.